Guys, I really need to tell you all something.
Yesterday, I walked out of my room for something. I wasn’t gone for very long.
When I came back…
there was a fucking rat on my bed!!!!!
I swear to God, Jesus and Buddha.
I was paralyzed and shocked and disgusted as I watched it take off and run behind my bed.
I lifted up the mattress and box spring looking for the little fucker.
I found him and chased him out of my room and he went back into his little hidey-hole in the wall which I stuffed pretty thoroughly so him, or his other fucking rat friends can’t get through.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m afraid to sleep in my bed.
Last night, I slept with the Christmas lights on and I had a sharp arrow next to my bed so that if he returned I could stab him in his fucking rat heart.
This is the stuff that nightmares consist of.
If you have Netflix…
You should check out “Ten Inch Hero”, “Palo Alto, CA” and “Zero Day” because they’re really great movies. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I should watch on Netflix?
Fuck my whole entire life, I’m hanging by a thread & nothing is okay.
No one understands what I’m going through and I don’t think anyone can help. I’m completely alone in the world, no family and hardly any friends. No job, no money and no hope for a better future. I’m so close to failing out of college and losing everything. My funding and my lively hood is in direct correlation with my GPA, so if I don’t do well in school I’m fucked. I wish I would have known this a semester ago before I failed out of school. That’s right, I was kicked out.
Now I’m reinstated and I know I’m not doing well, with only a month left in the semester, I don’t think I can do anything to turn it around. This is my fault, I fucked up and I have no one that I can ask for help. Before I fall asleep at night, I start crying and I think, if I cry loud enough someone will ask me what’s wrong and someone might help me. But no one does.
My last resort is posting this little “cry for help” on my stupid little blog and pray that someone might read all of it. Someone please tell me I’m not alone and that everything is going to be okay. I know it’s a lie, but I need to hear it. Can someone please pretend to give half a damn about me? Just give me a reason to keep going, because right now I can’t find one and I might end it all.